My dearest babies,
Life has been nuts the last five months, have you noticed?
My kiddies, one thing I hope you will gain in life is confidence, not entitlement. I hope that you'll be sympathetic and empathetic but wise enough to know when you are being taken advantaged of and brave enough to walk away and say no. I wish you an open mind and grace to accept and learn from others' ideas and feedback or criticism for you and your work but strong enough as an individual to not let them change who you are or cause you to do things you don't want to do or to do them just to be part of the crowd. And kids, sometimes shit happens, and yes, shit happens even when you do your best. You can only control what you choose to do and how you do it. Don't sweat what other people, especially those who do not deserve your respect, think or say about you. I think if you can remember that, you'll be a lot happier in life!
Guys, we went to Florida for the first time and hung out at the beach for a whole week. You had a super blast with your cousins and it was so so great to be with the entire family. Most days, we'd go to the beach in the morning after packing sandwiches and snacks and we'd hang out at the pool house after we've played in the waves long enough. Even though it rained the last 3 days we were there, it was so great to have all that time with you! Max, you'll want to remember this: You are apparently a master at playing the game of chicken fight! You, baba, Evie, Ava, Graham, Carter, Uncle Chuck, and Uncle Dave went to the pool and Grambo later came home and told his mama that you beat him at chicken fight. Aunt Court couldn't believe it since you are 2 and Grambo assured her that you were really really good and then proceeded to demo the moves - a mix of rapid hand movements, cat fight style. Apparently you did this while on Baba's shoulders and Graham was on Uncle Chuck's and Chuck was laughing his head off. Good times, keep up the good work, my honey boo.
This makes baba and I sound so sappy but man, who knew one could get overwhelming feelings and actually want to cry while watching one's child conquer her own fears and anxiety. You both started swim lessons and Evie started with lots of hesitation (despite being so excited) and a lot of tears and screaming for baba at the beginning of the lessons. Evie, you'd make excuses and even lie to get out of swim lessons BUT we also witnessed your growth as you learned to respond to our pep talks and baba's stories about not wanting to join little league. You conquered your own anxieties and hesitations and even started enjoying it. We are so incredibly proud of you, not just for taking the lessons but simply for trying and for recognizing that yes, you are worried but you CAN still do it. You continue to amaze me with your wit and ability to scheme. You drive me nuts with your sass and eye rolls but gosh, I can't say that you didn't inherit those traits from your dad and I. And while I might have to take this for a bit, I am so so glad that you are such a strong person already.
Max, you are talking so much these days! Your latest thing is using the word "because." You are determined and know exactly what you want. You learned to ask to be excused from the dinner table and you're always saying things like "Come play with me. Let's go now. Let's go play with the choo choo track over here." You also tell me when it is time to go to sleep and that breastmilk tastes like ice cream or chocolate. I'm fascinated watching you grow. You are stubborn and you love to tell us no, sometimes in not so nice ways. You love to throw things and wack people on the head with objects but we are trying pretty hard to teach you not to. You're also hilarious, loving, affectionate and sweet. One night you sang Country Roads ten times before you finally fell asleep. At any given night, I can find 2-7 vehicles in our bed. For a week, you'd clutch your little red Porsch car to sleep. You're truly a little boy these days and not my little baby anymore. Ahhhh. Oh yeah!! One of the best news this month was from your 3 month post cavity treatment appointment at the pediatric dentist. The dentist was really pleased with how everything looked, I was so happy I wanted to cry. You were visibly scared when we walked into the exam room though. You recognized the place where you were kind of strapped down, so the dentist let mama hold you in the chair for the entire check up. I told you to trust me and saw you hold back your tears and tried your best to work with the dentist; my mama heart bursted.
Guys, there's a lot of fighting in the house these days, over toys, who gets to choose a tv show, over snacks, over who gets to sit on my lap, over who gets which cups, and even who gets to turn the TV off. The house is messy, it's always kind of noisy, baba and I don't always have a lot of energy to play but man, how lucky we are to have all this? I am grateful every day. I have been angry at myself lately, for letting stupid things bother me and take away my focus on what's most important. I am going to try even harder and I promise to not let unnecessary things bother me and take away my energy, time, and patience to be a better me, a more loving mama, and a better partner to your baba. Let's focus on what makes us happy, content, and kind. The world would be a better place if we all did that.
Love you to the moon and back,